Getting breakthroughs with tough clients
Our story as a Pilates Instructor has a process. It is about taking a wide range of material and learning how to turn it into authentic communication using both intellect and physicality. We succeed in the achievement, proceed to set out on our journey, then encounter a scenario we may not be prepared to meet. The difficult client. By this definition, the reference is directed toward someone whose behavior or attitude is out of the ordinary.
The issues that arise in a studio setting can range from small habitual behaviors that interfere with class time to more challenging conduct that steps out of the boundaries of accepted behavior. This can fluctuate from everyday issues and may extend to behavior that is intimidating. The latter is often a “caught off guard moment” and can feel like a threat that comes out of nowhere. So much so, we are often left baffled and in a state of shock. However, with a plan in place, the moment can often be dealt with wisely.
Our goal, as teachers, is to work with every personality type in the classroom. Many behaviors are beyond our scope of comprehension and require a trained Therapist. This is far beyond our expertise, and therefore not advisable to deal with. The task at hand becomes a “how to” in dealing with students who scale from mild disruptions to aggressive behavior. It is helpful to identify individual traits to create tools to manage each situation. Can we as teachers avoid students or distance ourselves? Unless a scenario threatens emotional or physical safety, we explore every avenue to make these circumstances work.
Everyday issues are manageable with communication, such as cell phone protocol, arriving to class on time, managing personal space, understanding cancellation policies. These agreements create a common understanding within studio arrangements. There are however, situations that push codes of behavior and require perimeters to be put in place by the teacher. Keep in mind this VERY important concept: “Your response to these situations is crucial”, not just for you, the teacher, but for the surrounding students who have come to take class.
Unreliable Clients
Some people simply struggle to come through and keep appointments.
Response
Explain, more than once, your valued time, planning devoted to their session, and the importance of the work impacting their health. If failure to be present happens more than once, make room for someone who needs that space. It simply is not their time to be with you.
This does not include the person who called with an illness or an emergency. That’s another scenario altogether.
Gossip
Conversations that intimate judgement about behavior or circumstances about another person or studio is a breeding ground for unpleasant predicaments and if it happens in your space, it lands back in your space. Often, the information is unreliable in the first place and unnecessary to repeat in the second place.
Response
NO MATTER THE CIRCUMSTANCES. Nip it in the bud, change the topic, move on, create a new conversation, no one deserves gossip. The result of this preferred mindset of the teacher, or studio owner’s watch will in turn create an assurance of a safe space that speaks trust, not just with you the teacher, but with the studio you have created.
Personal Hygiene Issues
Someone repeatedly comes to the studio with an odor or cleanliness issue that directly influences the environment in the classroom.
Response
Though awkward, failure to address this conversation can result in dialogue behind the scenes with class participants, whose comfort zones are invaded. Select words with sensitivity and care and, in a private moment, with a kind, “discreet”, tone of voice, share the concern. Never assume you know the cause or nature of the problem, but with tactful and direct intention, address the hygiene issue, making it about the behavior, not the person.
Anxious People
A feeling of fear and uneasiness leading to a stressful reaction in the body can be normal feedback when trying new material or attending a class for the first time. Some have a permanent disorder and their anxiety does not go away. This effects memory or concentration.
Response
A sense of calm from the instructor is imminent. Keep your own mind clear, find movement patterns that are being done correctly, within reason, and point out this success. Emphasize breath, using cues that remind the client that breath and movement are synonymous. Find appropriate resting moments, cup the hands over the eyes and breathe for three to five, then proceed. This simple, yet effective moment is a game changer
ADHD
This is a client whose focus ability and cognitive thought patterns work best when the activity is of high interest. The mind races quickly and jumps from one thought to another. Pilates serves this person well, especially when the material captures their interest and the connection between these quick thinking minds works in conjunction with their physical exercise.
Response
One can very easily lose this client in a classroom set up. With a focus deficit, thoughts wander and important moments, like a spring change or a safety cue gets lost. Give prompts with repetition which in turn, will ensure greater success. Take the time to ensure proper set up, which in turn, contributes to confidence level.
Indulging in Substance
Any psychoactive substance, including alcohol and illicit drugs alter the thinking brain. Pilates is based on the Body and Mind working in conjunction to achieve a desired response to movement patterns. Should a person choose to partake, it is best to take class on another day.
Response
This student will have impaired cognitive or memory functions. There is a risk of mood change or a shift in behavior. Coordination is at risk, as are listening skills. Bottom line, it is a safety issue for the client and the teacher has a responsibility to keep the client from participating in the class.
Behavior That is Inappropriate / Unsuitable / Disruptive
There are situations that present a more serious component inside the Pilates studio. As much as we wish it were not so, it can be a teaching reality. Rather than create a list of disorders and how they range in severity, the purpose of this article is to describe three possible scenarios and appropriate responses that contribute to resolving.
Bullies / Intimidators / Anger Issues
These disagreeable behaviors can be challenging and occur rarely, however identifying the situation in the moment can shift the outcome and place the teacher into the proper head space to offset an uncomfortable or perhaps “unsafe” moment.
A bully is strong and demanding and feels justified in a verbal assault. Concession and negotiation, or hope of altering a viewpoint is not available. Recognize that you, the teacher, may feel overpowered and overwhelmed. The goal of this individual is to catch you in an unsuspecting moment. It is to their advantage point to place others into a “surprise attack” and catch people unaware.
Different from the Bully, the Intimidator uses a covert, verbal comment or unwarranted criticism that attempts to undermine your work. It is often sly in nature and catches you off guard, so get hold of your personal self-worth in the moment and realize this has nothing to do with you. It is underhanded, sneaks through the cracks of a conversation, and can leave you feeling disarmed.
Sometimes we may encounter someone who gets angry or upset easily, possibly even physically aggressive in stance and body language. Anger is a response we all feel at times, but if we’re unable to control the emotion, it becomes an issue placed on the surrounding audience. No intimidation here, no bully, just an angry response.
Response
Regarding all of these behaviors, keep cool. This will serve you in keeping your mind focused on steps to be taken. Acknowledge the level of discomfort within this moment. For whatever reason, this kind of behavior comes on quickly and we are often shocked in the moment that it is happening. Gather your resources as quickly as possible, which means, stay calm, find your breath, and ground yourself.
Whatever the behavior, there are two immediate options: verbalize a “not here, not now” response, which may quiet the moment, or ignore comments, which will sometimes be the only tool you need.
If you use voice, consider it a powerful tool, and delivery with intention is your goal. Use a clear, concise response and state that the words being spoken are not allowed in the space. Keep it simple, clear, direct, and to the point. No judgement, no threats, just a non-attached response to the behavior.
A “no response, no acknowledgement” attitude, with disinterest and non-reaction can speak volumes. This can be a strong, energetic statement. Inside this moment, gather your “self” and remember who you are and your innumerable teaching gifts.
In the case of any of these behaviors, analyze the safety situation immediately. An outburst is from someone who has lost their emotional capacity to think clearly, so you must assume the rational moment. Your breath may impact the behavior, simply by staying in a consistent five count breath, in and out, may resonate a calming response.
The problem with these situations is that there are units of measurement with these behaviors, meaning, everything from a simple, over-confidence, to a profound disorder.
If first attempts do not work and the situation has escalated, the following becomes necessary.
No response. Walk away. If you use your voice, think exclamation point, NOT A COMMA! Do not negotiate.
Have a game plan.
Recognize that the class may be a wash and your only protocol is to provide emotional safety for yourself and students who are present. IF, this is a private session and you are alone, and you are afraid, excuse yourself, leave the premises with your phone and call for support. A behavior disorder comes in many forms and often we don’t recognize the threat in the moment. Listen to the gut feeling inside your body, pay attention. ANY warning signs are there for a reason. Walk away, for emotional, possibly physical safety.
Conclusion
Again, response to any of these circumstances is crucial, not just for you the teacher, but for the students who are present. Self-control is the key ingredient. Is it always possible? No, but your best in the moment is essential. In the event something occurs, use your tools, and remember that you are calm and capable. Stand in the tripod of your feet, ground yourself, and have a plan in place for any situation that arises.
For reference sake, keep a written record of altercations that occur. Document times, dates, description of events, witnesses to the occasion, and anything else that you feel is necessary in the write-up.
Remember, this the most satisfying career available to those of us who share the passion of Pilates. There are sometimes “glitches” that need resolving and hopefully this offers a small level of support when encountering these situations. Reach out to colleagues who are there to support you. You had the “smarts” to get to this teaching position and you have equal brain material to deal with anything else that may arise. People trust you as an instructor, trust yourself, and believe you can manage any behavioral circumstance that arises. It’s all part of the teaching journey.
Lee Cooper is a renowned Pilates instructor and Master Teacher, with a PSC format. Her career began as a professional dancer and instructor in higher education, giving her a unique perspective on teaching and the profound capabilities of the human body.